An Update

It has been so long since I last posted anything, I don't even know where to start. My hubby and I still struggle with infertility but know that we are doing what we need to and with God's help our prayers will one day be answered....

Summer has started, well actually we are about a month into it. I miss being closer to my friends, usually in the summer we hang out at the pool and relax. This summer I am not able to do see them as much. I will admit sometimes it gets a bit boring or lonely. I hope they know that I miss them and wish I lived closer so I could see them and do more.

I was able to go to Las Vegas for a week, to visit my family, and we drove back to Texas together. YES, I said drive back. It took us over 30 hours. We stopped a lot but made it home finally. I was glad when we arrived; to sleep in my own bed, see my hubby and just be back in my own space. But I always love going to Vegas and the drive was VERY worth the trip.

This week is promising to be an emotional one. We are hoping to hear some news from the doctor, lets hope it is good.

Our New Additions

For most that know me, know that I am not nuts over animals. I had a dog, Tramp, when I was little and when he died I never got to attached to pets again. Sure there is some deep meaning behind it all but for me there has never been another dog like Tramp. Well, enter marriage and my husband who has a dog, Mattie. She is a black lab and I must say a pretty sweet and good dog. I have even found myself...me know...taking her for a walk. Well on Friday she had puppies! To our surprise a couple of months ago the neighbors dog, thankfully another black lab paid her a visit, and well here we are. We have 5 little puppies. What we are going to do with them, we don't know. Several people have said they want one so we feel we won't have any trouble getting rid of them. Like I said, we have 5 total....2 yellow, 1 black and 2 chocolate. She is a good little momma and now Jeff and family are teasing me about the dog. Well for goodness sake people, I never said I hated them (except little ones that yep all the time)...I just never got to attached to another again. But I must admit they are pretty cute and she is pretty good little dog.....hahaha!

Rambles and Results

I finally got the results, well guess it wasn't really that long but felt like it, from the doctor on the blood work. Everything came back normal (laugh there) but my testeone levels are a little high. SO, back to the doctor I go this coming Monday for an ultrasound. She wants to make sure I don't have any cysts or other issues that could be effecting me getting pregnant. So far, I haven't been to worried, I mean I would LOVE a baby more than anything but I praying, doing what the doctor says and leaving it up to God. I wish I could understand how some people just seem to have them like breathing but that isn't for me to understand. I seem to have inherited my mother's issues of trouble getting pregnant BUT she must have gotten over them sometime, here my brother and I both are. SO, I have all the faith that I will too, someday.

Jeff and I just got back from a much needed vacation. We went to Las Vegas. Both he and I have been just worn out from work, which doesn't help the baby thing either, and this vacation could not have come at a better time. We had such a wonderful time visiting with family. Jeff learned and was very lucky at the craps table and now he is anxious to get back...great for me, I love to travel.

Being married for almost 5 months now has come with its set of challenges. I worry that sometimes I am way to controlling, to demanding, to bossy. We both realize that since we were older, more set in our ways and what we do for a living puts us in charge of things, it makes it hard sometimes at home to share. I wish I could change or help the situation more but I know that I am trying and that is all I can do. I love Jeff so much and don't ever want to loose what I have found. He is my prince. The most kind, generous, honorable man I have ever known and though the may not always believe me...I am very blessed and honored to be his wife.

doctors and more doctors

Well as you all know, Jeff and I are trying to have a baby. We decided to see a doctor this week just make sure everything was okay. Since I am 35, I know that can make it harder to have a child, but I believe in God and all he has in store for my life. He brought Jeff into my life and I know that one day, when the time is right a child will come too. My doctor is great and she decided to draw blood and check all my hormone levels so see how they are functioning. Also, I was given the name of another doctor to see in regards to my thyroid. THANK GOODNESS! My thyroid has been giving me fits on and off or years and finally a doctor says lets have it double and triple checked again! See proof...a prayer has been answered..hahaha! So, that is where we stand now, waiting for results and knowing that when the time is right, God will answer our prayer with our own little miracle.

Stunned

Well here I go again, like a lot of people I have weight problem, and I have had one most of my life. As I struggle with wanting to get pregnant, I am coming to terms with the fact that my weight isn't just an appearance problem but for the first time in my life it is affecting my health. I have known for a while now that weight does effect your ability to get pregnant for some, well I am wondering if it is doing that for me. I want a baby more than anything in the world. I dream of the day when I will have someone call me mom....I know that might sound silly to some but it is my wish.
I have got to decide what am I going to do? I know that my faith is strong, that God certainly is working in my life, I found Jeff. But I also know that we have to meet God half way, we have to prove we want it. We just can't sit and wait for him to do all the work. So....I bought a book I had been hearing about, Eat This Not That. Well I am stunned! I can't believe some of the things that I thought were good for me aren't at all....I mean come on according to the book eating one twix candy bar is the same as eating 11 strips of bacon! I was shocked....so starting tomorrow, I am going to try and take better care of me. I have a loving husband who doesn't care how big I get, but will support me in my venture. I have to change my life...so that my life will change.

Starting Again

Okay, I have been inspired by my friend Debra to start writing the blog again. There is something kind of therpautic about writing things down and not caring or knowing who will see it....so here goes, I am back at it again. These past few months of married life have been great. It is really is a big adjustment to living with someone 24/7. When you are older like we both are you are more set in your ways and think "your way is the only way." Well it is has been a struggle sometimes to give in, say okay it is alright to not do this now, or it is okay to do this a different way. I believe that is one of the most wonderful, amazing and cherised thing about being married. Learning to change and for the better. You are changing to honor something that is a gift from God to you. You aren't giving up yourself for someone else, you aren't becoming someone you don't want to be....you are becoming who you were meant to be. I have always believed that life is a crazy ride and what a ride it is if you let it. Marriage is that same ride and I have known from the moment Jeff and I started talking of getting married and marriage was a ride that I certainly wanted to be on....and I love it!

What a Year!

What a year 2008 was...one unlike anything my family had ever seen and at times if we would ever get through. The year started out like any other, a few celebrations and then back to work. From there the roller coaster started. I broke up with my boyfriend, decided to try online dating and found Jeff, my prince. He is the most loving, considerate and wonderful man I have ever known and I am blessed to have him in my life. My amazing, funny, and healthy step-father Barney started to not feel to well and much to the total shock of us all died in May. It is a blow that I don't think any of us will ever get over and the question of why still lingers in our minds and hearts. From there, Mom sold their house in Houston moved back to Conroe...my brother moved his family into their new home in Conroe and told us they were having a baby.... and I moved from my apartment to Mom's house then to my new home with Jeff in Huntsville. The summer flew by so fast and then it was back to work for me. I was living with mom, planning a wedding and getting ready to meet my new nephew in December. The wedding was wonderful and from there I started my new life with my husband. Christmas came and went, Philip Payton was born and we all finally got settled into our new homes. I guess you can say that is the full circle of life that took place in my family this year. We had marriages, babies and deaths. Through it all though we have laughed, cried and loved together; those are things that we all do well...as my Grandma says "a family that stays close can survive it all." I guess you can say that is certainly something we have done this year. SO goodbye 2008 and hello 2009! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL