An Update

It has been so long since I last posted anything, I don't even know where to start. My hubby and I still struggle with infertility but know that we are doing what we need to and with God's help our prayers will one day be answered....

Summer has started, well actually we are about a month into it. I miss being closer to my friends, usually in the summer we hang out at the pool and relax. This summer I am not able to do see them as much. I will admit sometimes it gets a bit boring or lonely. I hope they know that I miss them and wish I lived closer so I could see them and do more.

I was able to go to Las Vegas for a week, to visit my family, and we drove back to Texas together. YES, I said drive back. It took us over 30 hours. We stopped a lot but made it home finally. I was glad when we arrived; to sleep in my own bed, see my hubby and just be back in my own space. But I always love going to Vegas and the drive was VERY worth the trip.

This week is promising to be an emotional one. We are hoping to hear some news from the doctor, lets hope it is good.

Our New Additions

For most that know me, know that I am not nuts over animals. I had a dog, Tramp, when I was little and when he died I never got to attached to pets again. Sure there is some deep meaning behind it all but for me there has never been another dog like Tramp. Well, enter marriage and my husband who has a dog, Mattie. She is a black lab and I must say a pretty sweet and good dog. I have even found myself...me know...taking her for a walk. Well on Friday she had puppies! To our surprise a couple of months ago the neighbors dog, thankfully another black lab paid her a visit, and well here we are. We have 5 little puppies. What we are going to do with them, we don't know. Several people have said they want one so we feel we won't have any trouble getting rid of them. Like I said, we have 5 total....2 yellow, 1 black and 2 chocolate. She is a good little momma and now Jeff and family are teasing me about the dog. Well for goodness sake people, I never said I hated them (except little ones that yep all the time)...I just never got to attached to another again. But I must admit they are pretty cute and she is pretty good little dog.....hahaha!

Rambles and Results

I finally got the results, well guess it wasn't really that long but felt like it, from the doctor on the blood work. Everything came back normal (laugh there) but my testeone levels are a little high. SO, back to the doctor I go this coming Monday for an ultrasound. She wants to make sure I don't have any cysts or other issues that could be effecting me getting pregnant. So far, I haven't been to worried, I mean I would LOVE a baby more than anything but I praying, doing what the doctor says and leaving it up to God. I wish I could understand how some people just seem to have them like breathing but that isn't for me to understand. I seem to have inherited my mother's issues of trouble getting pregnant BUT she must have gotten over them sometime, here my brother and I both are. SO, I have all the faith that I will too, someday.

Jeff and I just got back from a much needed vacation. We went to Las Vegas. Both he and I have been just worn out from work, which doesn't help the baby thing either, and this vacation could not have come at a better time. We had such a wonderful time visiting with family. Jeff learned and was very lucky at the craps table and now he is anxious to get back...great for me, I love to travel.

Being married for almost 5 months now has come with its set of challenges. I worry that sometimes I am way to controlling, to demanding, to bossy. We both realize that since we were older, more set in our ways and what we do for a living puts us in charge of things, it makes it hard sometimes at home to share. I wish I could change or help the situation more but I know that I am trying and that is all I can do. I love Jeff so much and don't ever want to loose what I have found. He is my prince. The most kind, generous, honorable man I have ever known and though the may not always believe me...I am very blessed and honored to be his wife.

doctors and more doctors

Well as you all know, Jeff and I are trying to have a baby. We decided to see a doctor this week just make sure everything was okay. Since I am 35, I know that can make it harder to have a child, but I believe in God and all he has in store for my life. He brought Jeff into my life and I know that one day, when the time is right a child will come too. My doctor is great and she decided to draw blood and check all my hormone levels so see how they are functioning. Also, I was given the name of another doctor to see in regards to my thyroid. THANK GOODNESS! My thyroid has been giving me fits on and off or years and finally a doctor says lets have it double and triple checked again! See proof...a prayer has been answered..hahaha! So, that is where we stand now, waiting for results and knowing that when the time is right, God will answer our prayer with our own little miracle.

Stunned

Well here I go again, like a lot of people I have weight problem, and I have had one most of my life. As I struggle with wanting to get pregnant, I am coming to terms with the fact that my weight isn't just an appearance problem but for the first time in my life it is affecting my health. I have known for a while now that weight does effect your ability to get pregnant for some, well I am wondering if it is doing that for me. I want a baby more than anything in the world. I dream of the day when I will have someone call me mom....I know that might sound silly to some but it is my wish.
I have got to decide what am I going to do? I know that my faith is strong, that God certainly is working in my life, I found Jeff. But I also know that we have to meet God half way, we have to prove we want it. We just can't sit and wait for him to do all the work. So....I bought a book I had been hearing about, Eat This Not That. Well I am stunned! I can't believe some of the things that I thought were good for me aren't at all....I mean come on according to the book eating one twix candy bar is the same as eating 11 strips of bacon! I was shocked....so starting tomorrow, I am going to try and take better care of me. I have a loving husband who doesn't care how big I get, but will support me in my venture. I have to change my life...so that my life will change.

Starting Again

Okay, I have been inspired by my friend Debra to start writing the blog again. There is something kind of therpautic about writing things down and not caring or knowing who will see it....so here goes, I am back at it again. These past few months of married life have been great. It is really is a big adjustment to living with someone 24/7. When you are older like we both are you are more set in your ways and think "your way is the only way." Well it is has been a struggle sometimes to give in, say okay it is alright to not do this now, or it is okay to do this a different way. I believe that is one of the most wonderful, amazing and cherised thing about being married. Learning to change and for the better. You are changing to honor something that is a gift from God to you. You aren't giving up yourself for someone else, you aren't becoming someone you don't want to be....you are becoming who you were meant to be. I have always believed that life is a crazy ride and what a ride it is if you let it. Marriage is that same ride and I have known from the moment Jeff and I started talking of getting married and marriage was a ride that I certainly wanted to be on....and I love it!

What a Year!

What a year 2008 was...one unlike anything my family had ever seen and at times if we would ever get through. The year started out like any other, a few celebrations and then back to work. From there the roller coaster started. I broke up with my boyfriend, decided to try online dating and found Jeff, my prince. He is the most loving, considerate and wonderful man I have ever known and I am blessed to have him in my life. My amazing, funny, and healthy step-father Barney started to not feel to well and much to the total shock of us all died in May. It is a blow that I don't think any of us will ever get over and the question of why still lingers in our minds and hearts. From there, Mom sold their house in Houston moved back to Conroe...my brother moved his family into their new home in Conroe and told us they were having a baby.... and I moved from my apartment to Mom's house then to my new home with Jeff in Huntsville. The summer flew by so fast and then it was back to work for me. I was living with mom, planning a wedding and getting ready to meet my new nephew in December. The wedding was wonderful and from there I started my new life with my husband. Christmas came and went, Philip Payton was born and we all finally got settled into our new homes. I guess you can say that is the full circle of life that took place in my family this year. We had marriages, babies and deaths. Through it all though we have laughed, cried and loved together; those are things that we all do well...as my Grandma says "a family that stays close can survive it all." I guess you can say that is certainly something we have done this year. SO goodbye 2008 and hello 2009! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

The Christmas Gift

Yesterday my family was given the most wonderful Christmas gift, my nephew was born. Philip Payton was born about 3:10pm and weighted 7 pounds 12 ounce and is 21 inches long. He is a very healthy little boy and was are so proud to have him in our family. My brother never really believed that he would ever have a son but God does work his miracles and he has a boy! We have all been so blessed this year, it is hard to put into words the feelings. I found Jeff and was married in November, Jennifer and Jeff had Philip in December but along the way we lost Barney. The emotional roller coaster we have been on this year is one that I could never explain but I know that I wouldn't change the ride for anything....

A New Life

It has been a while since my last post, so while I have a few minutes I thought I would write. Marriage is so different and wonderful. I am so blessed to get to spend everyday with my best friend. My step-sister Terra told me once "marriage is just great, you get to come home to your best friend"...that is so true. I feel that way. It has been a big adjustment as well, Jeff and I are older and have been on our own longer so we are both set in our ways. But he and I laugh a lot and have not had any problems learning from each other. We both have made a point of talking and keeping the lines of communication open....I need to remember he is my best friend and more than one person has told me it is that "friendship" that will get me through some rough times.

We have been working on our house a lot. It looks great, Jeff has been a big help and I know he isn't excited about having to spend all his free time working but it is coming along great! We love it! In fact, we are hosting my dad's family Christmas this year so that will be great and we are looking forward to it.

Our Big Day!

Well our big day finally arrived...November 8, 2008. Jeff and I were married in a wonderful ceremony with all our family and friends there. It took place at the Methodist Church with the reception at April Sound. We could not have asked for a better day. It all started with going with my girls to get hair and makeup done. That was a blast, we just hung out, ate and drank mimosas..yum! From there we girls headed to the church...got dressed and the fun begin. I had such a wonderful wedding, it was everything I dreamed of. I only wish that my grandmother, grandfather, Barney and Uncle had lived to see it, but you know I know they were there. That room was so filled with love and happiness that I know without a doubt that those who loved us where there. I also know how blessed I am to have a wonderful man and new family in my life, they are incredible and I am truly blessed.

Getting Closer

This past week saw the efforts of a bunch of people coming together....Mom has been a life saver. Running errands all over town, all day long, asking the lists of questions I have made for different people. She has said too that the post office won't know what to do without us buying stamps. I don't know what I would do without her. Also, Debra came over Friday night and helped put the baskets together for the hotel guests and we worked on the programs. Both were a great help.

Also, this week my school held a shower for me. It was so nice, gifts, cake, sodas, etc. We got a lot of wonderful things and Jeff and I become more amazed everyday at the gifts and the amount of generosity people have, it is wonderful! Today, Mom and I also picked up my bridal portrait...which I love! We took it to be framed and matted. It looks beautiful, we were both so pleased. With each day we are getting closer, I can't believe that in one week I will be married! Jeff and I are so excited, we can't wait for this part of our life to begin....

Remembering...

This weekend is the annual Fall Festival at the church my brother and his family go to. I was thinking back to this time last year and how much life has changed. That weekend, my mom and step-father Barney drove over to spend the day with us and enjoy the wonderful weather. WOW, what a difference a year makes. NEVER in my life if you would have told me that day, eating a hot dog and watching Grace play would Barney that a year later he would be gone. It is a loss that my family feels everyday. How short we had him and how long he will remain with us is amazing in itself. He came into our lives to fast and just that fast he was gone again. As I sit here in a house my mother never imagined owning, living in Conroe again, and not having him with her, I am stunned at how short, amazing, lonely, wonderful and miraculous life can be....

Also, I remember that a year ago I didn't even know Jeff, my soon to be husband. I was dating someone else in fact and praying to understand why that relationship wasn't what I dreamed it should be. I was trying to hard to make it something it wasn't, spending to much time worrying, crying, and hoping things would change. They did...we broke up. After that happened and I moped around for a while, I decided to give online dating a try again and there he was, my prince.

I guess this weekend is I have been doing a lot of thinking...and have come to a conclusion that isn't shocking to me at all. Life is about Change...sometime that change is good, great, sad or horrible but change it is. It is going to happen and we must ride the ride....

Final Things....

Today is the two week mark, we are two weeks away from the wedding. We got the marriage license yesterday and Jeff's ring today. He picked out one that was titanium and looks really good on his hand. From there is was off to buy a suit and new pair of slacks. He needed one, I guess. Every guy should at least one suit, or so I tried to tell him. He looked so handsome and he liked the way he looked as well. We got more gifts in the mail today and finished sending off the last of the "after wedding" brunch mom is having at her house. She said, she thinks the post office won't know what to do without us and all our mail outs. I said true, but then comes the thank you notes for wedding presents. Tonight is Jeff's bachelor party. His friends and family are getting together in Huntsville to celebrate. I am so glad that my dad is going too. Don't know how bad he is looking forward to it but he is anyway, which is good for him to do.

Bachelorette Party

GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!! On October 18th, 10 of my best friends and family hit the road for Houston and girls night out. We all met over at my mom's house and then headed to Houston. My cousin, Karen had already found us a great Mexican food place and then it was off to Howl at the Moon. That is a great place to go, home of the dueling pianos. We ate, drank, danced and laughed so much I was exhausted afterwards. It was so much fun and I am so lucky to have a great group of family and friends.

Couples Shower

WOW, what a weekend...on Saturday, Oct 11th Jeff and I had our couples shower at Buca di Peppo on the Woodlands. It was great. It was hosted by Jane/Jim, Mary/Kim, Caroll/Tom and Karl/Joy, they are all my aunts and uncles. It was a great time and we had so much fun. All of Jeff's family was there and most of mine. The food was great and we played two games. One famous couples and another "project runway" style brides show. Each group had to make up a person as a bride using newspaper, toilet paper and tape. IT WAS HYSTERICAL! Jeff and I loved it...seeing his friend Cody dressed as a woman and then there was my dad! He was a riot, very out of character for him. Both he and Jennifer's dad were dressed up and as people were saying the things they do for their daughters! It was great. Viola, Macy and Nancy were wonderful as well. It was great to see what people can do in a short time...to funny! The night was great and so much fun. Jeff and I loved it and feel so blessed to have all these wonderful people in our lives. All the more reason after the weekend of showers to be excited about the reception, it will be so much fun!

Dessert Shower

Well thanks to Hurricane Ike, my first bridal shower had to be postponed. It was a dessert and wine shower. I was disappointed to say the least but what you going to do, no lights..no water, no shower! Jennifer, Terra and Stella had wanted to host a shower for me so on, October 10 the rescheduled shower took place. IT WAS GREAT!!! We all went to Jeff and Jennifer house, which was decorated beautifully. They had so many wonderful desserts and wines to choose from. I was so happy to see all my friends and family there. Even my Aunt Caroll from Las Vegas was able to come, she wouldn't have before, so that was one positive from Ike. I got so many wonderful things, Jeff and I don't even know how to say thank you enough...it is a very humbling experience to see all the packages and know they came from people you know who care so much. Some of my family got to meet Jeff's mom and Aunt for the first time and it was an instant laugh fest. It was a great time had by all, especially me the bride. I was so honored to have a wonderful sister like Jennifer who would go to all that trouble, she is the best.

Bridal Pictures

On Saturday, Sept 20th I was supposed to have the first of my two wedding showers. Well thanks to Hurricane Ike that was had to be changed to Oct 10th. I was disappointed I will say but what can you do, we had no power. Can't have a bridal shower in the dark...no fun there. So that big event is coming up and now because of the new date, several like Caroll are coming that would not have been able to before so that is one positive and I can not wait!

On Saturday, Sept. 27th Mom, Mary, Mimi and I ventured to Rice University to take my bridal portraits. To say I was a little nervous is an understatement. I wanted everything to be perfect (I am a bit of nut about that stuff, working on it though). I had spent the morning getting my hair and makeup done and was really happy with the turn out. As Carla (hairdresser) and I said..."this will go in the hairdo hall of fame." I loved it...and then it was off to Rice.

We stopped first and got a smaller version of my bouquet that I had ordered, LOVED IT. Then it was to the area parking lot to change into my dress, yes that is right. I changed into my wedding dress and such in the parking lot of the university. Dana, the photographer and I were off with our helpers. Thank goodness Mary and Mom were there. I needed a lot of help, with my dress, flower, veil, etc. Looked like I was famous....but I think we got some great shots. I have always loved that school and all the wonderful architecture. It was also so special to share that day with my mom, Mary and my grandmother. It made the day even more wonderful! Now, I just have to sit and wait to see them...I AM DYING!

Where did the time go?

It has been so long since my last post...where do I begin. Well,I guess I need to begin at the end. The end of the last post that is...Well September, what a month.

The move went great, had few moments of WHAT AM I DOING, WHERE IS ALL THIS STUFF GOING! Slowly but surely, it is going to all be alright. I have had days were I have thought it will never happen, I will never get it all done, never get it all moved into place, never be settled but I know it will. I know that it is only stuff and I will be able to wade through it sooner or later. It is really amazing how the little things in life make you so happy. For example, working my way through the boxes and finding the front door! Jeff just laughed at me but I was so proud...WE HAVE A DOOR, I CAN SEE IT BEHIND ALL THE BOXES! I guess this is something all couples go through but I think for Jeff and I it is a little different because we are older, we both have more stuff. Tons of stuff and making it all come together (the deer heads) is our greatest challenge and biggest source of laughter.

The month was going along fine until a storm named Ike showed up. At first they told us, he was going farther south, no worries for us. Well he changed his mind and headed right for Houston and I-45. Just like they said he would, that storm right up the freeway through Conroe. We were out of school for a week, without power for about 6 days (felt much longer than that, but we made it through. Had a few limbs down in the yard thank goodness. I know many people that lost a lot more than we did. I will say that the good thing about the whole experience was learning to relay on each other so much more again. We spent time as a family outside, cooking on the grill, eating together, carrying water, etc. Just being together without any other outside distractions and that was nice. But let me say..as much as I loved it, this girl loves her air conditioner too!

After Ike, it was back to trying to return to normal. That hasn't been easy for some. I see that at school all day, everyday...but we are going to be fine and taking it one day at a time.

Coming Home Again

This past weekend I turned over a new leaf in my life. I moved out of my apartment and into my mom's house. Jeff and I had decided that I would move my stuff to his house and then I would move in in November. I didn't want to live with him before we are married mainly out of respect for my parents. They both don't like the idea and have given me so much in my life, what is waiting three months! Also, I said "I am not stupid, they are writing the checks...not going to make them mad!" ahhahaha

Well the move went fine, thank goodness for the movers. I got here and unpacked what little I brought to Mom's house. It is kind of strange and wonderful being back here at the sametime. Eventhough it is a new house for both she and I, it is still living with my mom and being with her things. I don't think it matters how old you are or where they live there will always be apart of your home, the place your parents live. I know it will be good for both of us to be living together, if we don't kill each other first (kidding of course). There is something about beginning to start a new phase in life and coming home before you do, helps to keep you grounded I think.

Pieces of the puzzle

Friday, August 29th saw the arrival of our invitations. I was so happy to see them and think they are just what we wanted. I love them! They are just the right shape, color, and wording. They are very personal for my family and I was happy to see them. Also, we got our napkins in as well. They are great! Later that evening Mom, Jeff and I ventured to Fannin Flowers again. This time we went to look at a wedding they were working on that was using some of the same colors. They had told us a couple of weeks ago to come back then and I am so glad that we did. The flowers were AMAZING! I loved all of them, I can't wait to see the flowers and how they all look. We also ordered several other things and they will all be arriving the morning of the wedding and I know they will add a very special touch to the wedding. As I told Mom and Jeff that night, it is like putting one big puzzle together and I can't wait to see all the pieces.